Author James Hollis' eloquent reading provides the listener with an accessible and yet profound understanding of a universal condition - or what is commonly referred to as the mid-life crisis. Heady and academic with big vocabulary to wrestle, this slim volume managed to piercingly identify many of my thoughts and feelings this year. The Middle Passage The unwavering truth of the psyche is: change or wither into resentment; grow or die within. Jung describes these reflexive, emotionally laden responses as complexes. Mid-life is full of losses: children move away, friends die, divorce devastates.
Perhaps love is really the capacity to imagine the other so vividly, that we can affirm that being—the ability to take responsibility for oneself and the courage imaginatively to validate the reality of the other. This book didn't succeed in showing me a way out, or describing my hoped for destination. The paradox is that only through relinquishing all we have sought, do we transcend the delusory guarantee of security and identity; all sought let go. We must learn to be our own best companion and supporter. The more differentiated we become, the more enriched our relationships will be.
But we are not immortal, so each choice matters! Th is book review is by Lynelle Pieterse and will be explored in the bookclub. It seems especially recommendable to people interested in depth psychology and finding a map to navigate this critical and challenging passage. Lucid, scholarly, and easy to comprehend this influential book by Hollis answers the question: What is our task in mid-life? I seem to see everything differently, and my relationship to my world seems altered in profound yet impossible-to-articulate ways Invited away on a girl's weekend in Wimberley, I read this per our host's suggestion that we discuss. Hollis looks at these relationships by discussing the nature of intimacy; we start off believing that marriage and romantic love are synonymous. We awake to find ourselves abandoned in a cold, silent, and inhospitable realm. The author explains how Jungian individuation can proceed or fail to proceed in modern life's existential crises.
The left-behind talents hold enormous healing potential for the psyche when invited consciously and creatively. And once possessed by the drives from the unconscious one cannot be said to be realistic. Found myself really relating to it and finding hope and possibility in middle age instead of the depression that has been plaguing me. The middle passage is the space in which our persona and our authentic self-collide. I love the style of his writing personally, but it does take a bit more attention to read than other styles. The more we embrace our acquired identities, the more we give rise to dissatisfaction in our mid-life, an envelope of anxiety and unease that does not go away simply because we are 'successful'. The talents left behind as we specialize not only at work but in intimate relationships, are left behind unless brought to the surface and utilized.
Courage is needed to let go of the trappings that prevent us from individuating outside of relationship. Like two tectonic plates, our persona and the unlived aspects of our lives begin to scrape, grate, and grind against one another. We have given this book to many friends as they passed through this tumultuous period. The first is that there is an enormous force pressing from below. What does it all mean?! Life is unsparing in asking us to grow up and take responsibility for our own lives. In mid-life, we can accept that children only pass through us en route to the mystery of their own life.
One can only go back to sleep, jump ship or grab the wheel and sail on. During the Middle Passage, we are confronted with ourselves and our partners. The main question of the book is: Who am I apart from my history and the roles I play, roles I learnt after birth with which I functioned in the provisional adulthood of my life? This is the moment the ego reacts in defence; the heroic thinking of the adolescent results. This book focuses on the second half of life. If it takes six repetitions for a message to stick we're nearly there, now. Third, one is required to acknowledge this discrepancy.
Thus the paradox: worth and dignity, terror and the promise of human existence depend on mortality. The inner, outer, and wishful world is confused by the wish to be the center of the universe. The loss of a necessary other can be as terrifying as the loss of a parent would be to a child. The book exhorts is to take charge of the ship and launch a journey inwards. Книга юнговского аналитика James Hollis про непройденный кризис взросления, тот самый перевал на пути от подростковой жизни со всеми её сложностями вписывания в социум, следования правилам той культуры, где ты живёшь, сильного влияния родителей и других значимых людей к взрослой жизни, с не меньшими сложностями ответственности за свою жизнь, принятии осознанных решений, пути на встречу страхам и желанию более глубокого познания себя, других и своего развития. In the end this book doesn't have the answers or even a blueprint for the answers, but it does allow us to live more consciously and increasingly become more aware of ourselves. We may unconsciously expect that child to make us happy with ourselves, to fulfill our own lives.
This says that our own nature is too narrowly channeled, or has become dammed up. Covering the entry into second adulthood and opening oneself to the inner work that needs to be done to be individualized. Those who travel the passage consciously render their lives more meaningful. The unlived aspects of our life begin to demand our attention. Our dreams present as an antidote to this; they communicate our inferior function by taking us to the opening of the unconscious; they show how we express the other side of our personality.
The disillusionment that all relationships are imperfect and limited in their ability to meet our psychological needs, results in many marriages ending in midlife. Why do we consider it to be a crisis? What I especially enjoy about Hollis is the literate sensibility he brings to his writing often utilizing appropriate references from literature both old and modern , combined with his wise and welcoming experience of being human every stage and experience has its place and value. Abstract: Why do so many go through so much disruption in their middle years? The look within might be too frightening for many or simply too difficult for those seeking soft answers and blankets of comfort instead of chilling realities. In the long run, it is the only journey worth taking. I've read it three times - once for over all concept, two for understanding and three to reinforce concepts.